by: Cindy R. Wilson
Genre: Young Adult Contemporary Romance
Release Date: December 4, 2018
Publisher: Entangled Publishing ~ Teen
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One spark and everything could disappear.
I haven’t left my house in over a year. My doctor says it’s social anxiety, but I know the only things that are safe are made of paper. My room is paper. My world is paper. Everything outside is fire. All it would take is one spark for me to burst into flames. So I stay inside. Where nothing can touch me.
Then my mom hires a tutor. Jackson. This boy I had a crush on before the world became too terrifying to live in. Jackson’s life is the complete opposite of mine, and I can tell he’s got secrets of his own. But he makes me feel things. Makes me want to try again. Makes me want to be brave. I can almost taste the outside world. But so many things could go wrong, and all it takes is one spark for everything I love to disappear…
With a deep breath, I opened the door. As I rounded the corner, I ran into someone so hard we both stumbled. Hands gripped my arms to help steady me. I winced at the pain in my shoulder even as my cheeks heated.
“There goes my spleen,” Jackson said.
Oh my God, oh my God, I broke his spleen. Was a spleen even something we needed? “I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to—”
“Are you okay?”
His hands were warm and solid on my arms. My neck was on fire, flames licking up the sides of my face. Like I was paper. I was paper, and I was about to become ash.
“Um,” I said. “I’m—I’m okay. My spleen is intact.”
His laughter made me blush harder, and I couldn’t meet his gaze. He wore Converse. I spent a lot of time staring at shoes. He had big feet.
Why couldn’t I talk to him like a normal person?
It was so easy online. I could give advice to BK like I knew what I was talking about. But in real life, it wasn’t ever the same. The real world was like paper, and one screw up, one spark, and the whole thing would go up in flames.
His silence lasted long enough to make me glance up. He stared into the study, gaze captured by the Milky Way.
“Did you do all this?” he asked, taking an automatic step toward the door.
I tried to block his path without touching him, embarrassed like I’d been caught playing Barbies. “Yes, but—”
“Is that Venus?” He stood a whole head taller than me, but he still lifted on his toes to peer further into the room. “And a meteor? Zoe…wow.”
He’d never said my name before. A shiver rained down my body. “It’s just a—just a—”
He stopped looking in the room in order to smile at me, eyes full on my face. He wore geeky glasses, too, but they made him look older. Smarter. Cooler. Confident. Everything that I wasn’t.
He should have been labeled a nerd or a dork because he was so smart, but his rating on a scale of coolness was at least 150.
+ 575 for being on the basketball team
+ 75 for actually looking cute in his thick-rimmed hipster glasses that weren’t just for show but for actual vision problems because, according to Mae, he was so blind he had to take his driving test three times.
In my fantasy world, I took his hand and led him inside, saying, “Come and see,” in a voice equal parts sexy and mysterious. I was that perfect piece of paper. No creases, a color that was hard to find, the perfect shade to make something awesome—like a star cluster.
“There’s supposed to be a meteor shower soon,” Jackson said. “Two nights in a row.”
All sixty-two inches of me, foot to head, flushed. Small talk. I was terrible at small talk. Small talk was the bane of my existence. “That’s cool,” I said.
He tried to peer into the room again, his hand propped on the door. His fingers were long and slender, but they looked strong. Capable. What would it feel like to have him hold my hand? For him to brush those long fingers on my cheek as we sat in my galaxy.
I could show him. I should show him because he looked interested, but what if he got inside and hated it?
He smiled and glanced into my study. “I guess you probably already knew that.”
I should have. But in all honesty, my Milky Way masterpiece was entirely because of Jackson. I hadn’t had much of an interest in astronomy before him. Paper, yes. Planets, no.
“Did you know that there’s a Super Massive Black Hole at the center of the Milky Way?” he asked.
I opened my mouth. Nothing came out. I tried again. “You learn something new every day.”
His eyes lit, crinkling as he smiled. “You do.”
He remembered. He remembered our conversation on the bleachers. My heart ached. I wanted so badly to show him the stars and planets. To talk like normal people did. But all I could manage to do was stare at his shoes.
“Oh-kayy,” he said, the word long and drawn out, and I knew I’d let him down somehow. “I should let you get back to it.”
“See ya,” I mumbled.
“There goes my spleen,” Jackson said.
Oh my God, oh my God, I broke his spleen. Was a spleen even something we needed? “I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to—”
“Are you okay?”
His hands were warm and solid on my arms. My neck was on fire, flames licking up the sides of my face. Like I was paper. I was paper, and I was about to become ash.
“Um,” I said. “I’m—I’m okay. My spleen is intact.”
His laughter made me blush harder, and I couldn’t meet his gaze. He wore Converse. I spent a lot of time staring at shoes. He had big feet.
Why couldn’t I talk to him like a normal person?
It was so easy online. I could give advice to BK like I knew what I was talking about. But in real life, it wasn’t ever the same. The real world was like paper, and one screw up, one spark, and the whole thing would go up in flames.
His silence lasted long enough to make me glance up. He stared into the study, gaze captured by the Milky Way.
“Did you do all this?” he asked, taking an automatic step toward the door.
I tried to block his path without touching him, embarrassed like I’d been caught playing Barbies. “Yes, but—”
“Is that Venus?” He stood a whole head taller than me, but he still lifted on his toes to peer further into the room. “And a meteor? Zoe…wow.”
He’d never said my name before. A shiver rained down my body. “It’s just a—just a—”
He stopped looking in the room in order to smile at me, eyes full on my face. He wore geeky glasses, too, but they made him look older. Smarter. Cooler. Confident. Everything that I wasn’t.
He should have been labeled a nerd or a dork because he was so smart, but his rating on a scale of coolness was at least 150.
- 400 for being in the chess club at school. (Yes, it got points with me because chess rules and it’s something we both loved, but at-school chess = dork)
+ 575 for being on the basketball team
- 100 for being on the Honor Roll (although again, in my book, this was a +)
+ 75 for actually looking cute in his thick-rimmed hipster glasses that weren’t just for show but for actual vision problems because, according to Mae, he was so blind he had to take his driving test three times.
In my fantasy world, I took his hand and led him inside, saying, “Come and see,” in a voice equal parts sexy and mysterious. I was that perfect piece of paper. No creases, a color that was hard to find, the perfect shade to make something awesome—like a star cluster.
“There’s supposed to be a meteor shower soon,” Jackson said. “Two nights in a row.”
All sixty-two inches of me, foot to head, flushed. Small talk. I was terrible at small talk. Small talk was the bane of my existence. “That’s cool,” I said.
He tried to peer into the room again, his hand propped on the door. His fingers were long and slender, but they looked strong. Capable. What would it feel like to have him hold my hand? For him to brush those long fingers on my cheek as we sat in my galaxy.
I could show him. I should show him because he looked interested, but what if he got inside and hated it?
He smiled and glanced into my study. “I guess you probably already knew that.”
I should have. But in all honesty, my Milky Way masterpiece was entirely because of Jackson. I hadn’t had much of an interest in astronomy before him. Paper, yes. Planets, no.
“Did you know that there’s a Super Massive Black Hole at the center of the Milky Way?” he asked.
I opened my mouth. Nothing came out. I tried again. “You learn something new every day.”
His eyes lit, crinkling as he smiled. “You do.”
He remembered. He remembered our conversation on the bleachers. My heart ached. I wanted so badly to show him the stars and planets. To talk like normal people did. But all I could manage to do was stare at his shoes.
“Oh-kayy,” he said, the word long and drawn out, and I knew I’d let him down somehow. “I should let you get back to it.”
“See ya,” I mumbled.
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This sounds like an interesting book. I have social anxiety too, but no where near as bad as the girl in this book. It will be interesting to see how things work out for her.
ReplyDeleteThis book does sound good. I didn't know you had social anxiety.
DeleteI love this cover, and the description sounds intriguing! Out of curiosity, when is the second giveaway going to start?
ReplyDeleteI don't know when the contest will start. I'm not in charge of it.
Delete