by: Ashlee Mallory
Series: How Not to Marry a Billionaire
Genre: Romantic Comedy
Release Date: May 13, 2021
Amazon | Paperback | Goodreads
People say I’m smart.
Probably because I have a PhD in astrophysics and am on the cusp of publishing a theory that just might change our perception of the known universe.
The verdict, however, is still out for me.
After all, I fell for a colleague who broke my heart and then stole the grant money from the Camella Franklin Foundation that had been funding my research. Did I mention he’s also engaged to Camella Franklin?
Then the gorgeous and charming billionaire Colin Fitzgerald came to me with a proposal that might just change my life.
A marriage in name only in return for the grant money needed to fund my research.
Marrying a hot billionaire wouldn’t be so bad, right?
Except that from the moment I laid eyes on the guy, it felt like the stars had aligned and I had actually met my destiny. He, on the other hand, had been totally in love with my best friend.
But, as people say, I’m smart. I wouldn’t do anything so foolish as to fall in love with my fake husband.
Like I said…the verdict is still out.
I stared in the bathroom mirror a couple of hours later. After already washing my face and brushing my teeth, I wondered if a swipe of lip gloss would be too obvious. It was bedtime after all.
Probably.
Instead, I brushed my hair out with a few swipes and cleaned my glasses before putting them back on, stalling a little longer.
What had I been thinking when I packed these pajamas? The Hulk boxers and a ripped and faded tee shirt with the same green hero might be perfectly fine for lounging at home, alone in the sanctity of my bedroom, but here in England, where I should have been prepared for all possibilities, it was…embarrassing.
The only other option I had was wearing the silky black number that Jane had insisted on buying me as a bridal shower gift that I’d brought along for a more embarrassing reason. The just-in-case reason. Which I knew was never going to happen, but it was so light and didn’t take any extra space, so I’d dropped it in at the last minute.
But it wasn’t an option. Maybe in my wildest fantasies, but not in real life.
I sighed and tucked my hair behind my ears and took one last look.
This was me. Real life.
I opened the door and peered out, trying to see where Colin might be. The coast seemed clear, and I raced across the floor and jumped up into the bed, digging deep under the covers.
“You have got to tell me what it is about this green guy that you are positively obsessed with,” he said with obvious humor in his voice.
I glanced across the room to the couch, where Colin was already lying down with a clear line of sight from me to where his head was cradled over some pillows.
Busted.
Next time I would do well to turn off the lamp on the nightstand. I squished around in the bed, making myself more comfortable.
Wait. Some green guy?
“Please tell me that you know who the Incredible Hulk is.”
There was silence.
“Oh my gosh, Colin. I know you’re not that into movies, but how can you not have heard of The Incredible Hulk? The Avengers? Iron Man?” Continued silence. “These aren’t just movie characters but characters based on comic strips and even an old seventies television series.”
“This Hulk…he’s like Superman then?”
I couldn’t deny it, a little bit of my heart was hurting at this news. “Nothing at all like Superman. Superman’s powers were only possible because of the earth’s yellow sun, while Bruce Banner had been a brilliant and dedicated scientist who worked in nuclear physics and biochemistry before he was accidentally exposed to gamma radiation and, as a result, when he was angry, he became the green monster, as you put it.”
“So he’s smart. Like you.”
“He’s brilliant.”
“Holly.”
“Yes?”
“You do realize that Bruce Banner is a fictional character, right?”
“Of course I do.”
“Good, because if I didn’t know better, I would say it sounds like you have a major crush on the guy. Both the Hulk and human.”
He wouldn’t be wrong there. “Hey, he has all the best qualities. Well, I guess except for the anger issues.”
“While I marvel at your superhero knowledge, I feel that I should add that Dr. Bruce Banner was renamed Dr. David Banner in the 1970s television series where his occupation was physician and scientist.”
“Yes, of course, but I was only trying to give you a—” I stopped. “Wait a minute.”
Colin laughed, a warm, rich sound that literally curled my toes.
“You knew who he was all the time.”
“I haven’t been living under a rock my entire life, you ninny. Of course I know who Hulk is. In fact, I know who all the characters are in both the DC and Marvel world. I was something of a nerd as a kid.”
I doubted that. “If you went around calling people ninnies, then what do you expect?”
“We Brits take our insults very serious, choosing from a whole range of slang dating back to at least the sixteenth century, which, I might add, was when ninny is believed to have originated.”
“Very educational. Thank you, professor.”
Probably.
Instead, I brushed my hair out with a few swipes and cleaned my glasses before putting them back on, stalling a little longer.
What had I been thinking when I packed these pajamas? The Hulk boxers and a ripped and faded tee shirt with the same green hero might be perfectly fine for lounging at home, alone in the sanctity of my bedroom, but here in England, where I should have been prepared for all possibilities, it was…embarrassing.
The only other option I had was wearing the silky black number that Jane had insisted on buying me as a bridal shower gift that I’d brought along for a more embarrassing reason. The just-in-case reason. Which I knew was never going to happen, but it was so light and didn’t take any extra space, so I’d dropped it in at the last minute.
But it wasn’t an option. Maybe in my wildest fantasies, but not in real life.
I sighed and tucked my hair behind my ears and took one last look.
This was me. Real life.
I opened the door and peered out, trying to see where Colin might be. The coast seemed clear, and I raced across the floor and jumped up into the bed, digging deep under the covers.
“You have got to tell me what it is about this green guy that you are positively obsessed with,” he said with obvious humor in his voice.
I glanced across the room to the couch, where Colin was already lying down with a clear line of sight from me to where his head was cradled over some pillows.
Busted.
Next time I would do well to turn off the lamp on the nightstand. I squished around in the bed, making myself more comfortable.
Wait. Some green guy?
“Please tell me that you know who the Incredible Hulk is.”
There was silence.
“Oh my gosh, Colin. I know you’re not that into movies, but how can you not have heard of The Incredible Hulk? The Avengers? Iron Man?” Continued silence. “These aren’t just movie characters but characters based on comic strips and even an old seventies television series.”
“This Hulk…he’s like Superman then?”
I couldn’t deny it, a little bit of my heart was hurting at this news. “Nothing at all like Superman. Superman’s powers were only possible because of the earth’s yellow sun, while Bruce Banner had been a brilliant and dedicated scientist who worked in nuclear physics and biochemistry before he was accidentally exposed to gamma radiation and, as a result, when he was angry, he became the green monster, as you put it.”
“So he’s smart. Like you.”
“He’s brilliant.”
“Holly.”
“Yes?”
“You do realize that Bruce Banner is a fictional character, right?”
“Of course I do.”
“Good, because if I didn’t know better, I would say it sounds like you have a major crush on the guy. Both the Hulk and human.”
He wouldn’t be wrong there. “Hey, he has all the best qualities. Well, I guess except for the anger issues.”
“While I marvel at your superhero knowledge, I feel that I should add that Dr. Bruce Banner was renamed Dr. David Banner in the 1970s television series where his occupation was physician and scientist.”
“Yes, of course, but I was only trying to give you a—” I stopped. “Wait a minute.”
Colin laughed, a warm, rich sound that literally curled my toes.
“You knew who he was all the time.”
“I haven’t been living under a rock my entire life, you ninny. Of course I know who Hulk is. In fact, I know who all the characters are in both the DC and Marvel world. I was something of a nerd as a kid.”
I doubted that. “If you went around calling people ninnies, then what do you expect?”
“We Brits take our insults very serious, choosing from a whole range of slang dating back to at least the sixteenth century, which, I might add, was when ninny is believed to have originated.”
“Very educational. Thank you, professor.”
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Ashlee Mallory is a USA Today Bestselling author of contemporary romance, romantic suspense, and thrillers. She currently resides in Utah with her husband and two kids. She aspires to one day include running, hiking and traveling to exotic destinations in her list of things she enjoys, but currently settles for enjoying a good book and a glass of wine from the comfort of her couch.
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This is perfect for my sister!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the excerpt. I look forward to reading this book.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to learn about this comedy book.
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun excerpt.
ReplyDeletedenise
New to me Author! I'm excited to read this . Love fake Romance!
ReplyDelete